Somebody came up with a great idea a couple of weeks back. Donald Trump wants to be King, right? He’ll start by accepting a third term as President, but he’s really aiming for a throne. Gilt throne, please!
So, let’s all get together and show him he’s wrong!
In fact, June 14th looks like a great day for it. It’s some holiday most years, and a lot of towns are having Pride celebrations on the 14th. It just all hangs together! And it’s spreading like wildfire, all around the world. WooHOO!
Let’s start making our signs!
Um, except, there are a couple of problems. Whaaaa?
Yep. First of all, when it jumped out of the US into some of our friends’ countries -- like Canada -- people didn’t know how to take it. Canada, along with the other UK Commonwealth countries, honours the British royal family. And to their credit, the Windsors -- apart from the occasional hint of internecine strife, sibling rivalry, being mean to the staff, etc – have managed for the better part of a century or so to be fairly benign, well-behaved monarchs. They let Parliament run the country and give themselves to lengthy and carefully choreographed public appearances, usually involving horses. Showy, they keep the tourist pounds-sterling rolling in.
But the UK is not the only ally headed by a king or queen. Wikipedia has a tidy list and explanation. Besides the ‘quite a few’ members of the Commonwealth, other constitutional monarchies include Andorra, Belgium, Denmark, Luxembourg, the Netherlands, Norway, Spain, and Sweden. And these are just the European ones. Some of these might feel insulted if we dissed their monarch. In others, iconoclasts are struggling with the concept, so internal dissension might be stirred up. Either way, it’s a bit impolite to parade through their streets with signs that say "Down With The Royals."
Also, at some point, it was realized that not all kings are bad. Apart from King Charles, who seems like a nice enough chap, there are the named kings: Martin Luther King, Angus King, Angus King Jr., Billy Jean King and Stephen King. This last one, the horror fiction writer extraordinaire, triggered yet another thought. Trump’s cabinet appointees and the pain-inflicting chaos his Executive Orders have already caused, read like the end spines in a shelf of Stephen King's prolific publications.
- Mr. MAGA himself, orange hair and all = Pennywise the evil clown of “It.” Down here, we all float.
- Proposal to let immigrants compete for citizenship = “The Running Man” (Played by Arnie Schwarznegger!)
- Driverless trucks down in Texas = In “Maximum Overdrive,” they take over the rest stop.
- RFK’s kneecapping the NIH and CDC = “The Stand” with the last few survivors of the rapidly self-mutating virus
- Angry women betrayed by Roe v Wade rollback = Watch out for “Rose Madder,” It's pay back time!
The list is not exhaustive, but likening Trump world to a Stephen King library of horrors is a perfect fit, is it not?
So, one obvious solution to the “NO Kings” dilemma is a sign that says
“No Kings except for Angus, Billy Jean, Martin, and Stephen!”
Another solution which is gaining popularity and a sigh of relief from Dems Abroad leadership is the thesaurus approach:
NO Tyrants! -- NO Dictators! -- NO Oligarchs! -- NO Selfish Sots!
NO Authoritarians! -- NO Grifters! -- NO Corrupt Politicians!
And one more:
NO Flag-Waving Phonies!
Because June 14 is also FLAG DAY. It has been since Woodrow Wilson declared it so in 1916.
And that’s our flag. It belongs to all of us!
###