In a time of deep polarization, how we engage with people who disagree with us matters more than ever. 

By Hilary Hodge
Braver Angels volunteer

Right now, public life in the U.S. feels dominated by polarization. Even though we live an ocean away, we consume much of the same media and social media, so that polarization can feel just as loud, angry, and chaotic as if we still lived there.

For many Democrats Abroad members, this moment feels especially fraught—and it can feel more urgent than ever to advocate for democratic candidates and policies. At the same time, it’s worth taking a moment to reflect on the role we each play in that polarization.

It can feel energizing and satisfying to categorize people who disagree with us as hopeless, unreasonable, unintelligent, closed-minded, or immoral. (These are among the most common descriptors both parties use for the other.)

But the long-term costs of polarization are serious. Conflict research shows that once we stop communicating with each other, the pathways to peaceful change begin to narrow. If sustained polarization threatens the civic engagement that democracy depends on, what can we do about it?

Drawing on my work with Braver Angels, a nonpartisan organization focused on reducing political polarization, here are two approaches that can help:

1. Remember that you may not fully understand the other person’s views

When speaking with someone who disagrees with you, try to avoid characterizing what their “side” believes. It’s easy to assume we understand opposing views based on how they’re portrayed in the media or on social platforms.

In reality, most Americans are neither as extreme nor as unreachable as those portrayals suggest—and they may not frame issues in the same way you do.

By focusing on your own perspective rather than describing theirs, you reduce the risk of misrepresenting them and making the conversation more defensive.

It’s also worth remembering that about 45% of Americans now identify as independent.

2. Look for common ground

Finding even a small point of agreement can go a long way toward building trust and making conversations more productive.

One tool used by Braver Angels is LAPP:

Listen to understand, not to respond

Acknowledge what you’ve heard

Pivot by asking to share your views

Share your perspective

Simply applying approaches like these is a meaningful step toward practicing democracy in a way that strengthens civic engagement and helps us see those we disagree with as human.

Lasting social change requires resisting injustice, replacing broken systems, and repairing the social fabric along the way.

Even from abroad, we don’t just represent a party—we represent how democracy looks when we practice it deliberately and bravely.